True Desi

Say open or close the light.

Say chok-o-late instead of chocolate.

Say Hullo instead of Hello.

Say Vot instead of What.

Everything you eat is saut�ed in garlic, onion, chili and tomatoes.

Try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

You try to eject food particles from between your teeth by pressing your tongue
against them and making a peculiar noise like, tshick, tschick, tschick or pphht.

Nibble at a toothpick like dessert.

Say hello by simply raising your eyebrow.

Automatically shorten peoples name even though they are already short. Know some one named either, bobby, inky, pinky, chinky, or tinku.

Are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the airport.

Arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's the norm.

Snap your fingers while dancing in a group.

In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, Atal Behari Vajpayee and Pervez Musharraf decided to visit each other`s country regularly. The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There Musharraf showed him Pakistan`s modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Vajpayee made a call to the Devil in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re.1. When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India`s telecommunication systems to be at the best when Musharraf visited India. Suitable arrangements were made. Mushrraf came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500! Musharraf asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in India ?" A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from India, it is long distance!".

Banta was in the army. During the war with Pakistan, Banta used his intelligence to kill many Pakistani soldiers. He would hide behind the bushes and shout Pakistani names like - Shariq Khan etc. and the soldier named Shariq Khan would get up to say "I am here !" Then Banta would shoot him down. This went on till Banta almost wiped out all the soldiers single handedly!Suddenly the Pakistani commander realized that Banta was killing all his soldiers by fooling them. So he decides to use Banta`s own method to kill him and starts calling him names like Banta etc. Banta realizing that the Pakistani was using his trick, suddenly says "Who called me?" and the Commander gets up to say "I called you." Banta shoots him down!


I talk, he talk; Why do you beech beech talk?
(beech, beech = middle, middle)

Open the windows and let the atmosphere come in"!

"Why are you naat filupping the blanks ?"

Maro saale ko:: Hit the brother in law

"Hey, u guys, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside"

"Donot smoke and spoil the botany of ur body"

"Open the windows, open the windows, let the climate come in"

Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter

continue her studies or get her married :
"Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu
marry her, then marry her ."

Prof to students hanging around the corridors during exams :
"Do not revolve in the corridors in front of the examinations"

"Don't talk like that in front of my back"

"Dont stand in front of my back"

"Louly hair cutting. Hair cutting, current drying. No shock."

"Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju . B.A, M.A."

"Repeat again please!"

"Mistake became wrong!"

Did you cut the tickets for the film, yet?

Pliss, close the fan!

He/she's my cousin brother/sister

He/she's my co-brother/sister

Galatfehmi ka shikar hona:: to be hunted down by misunderstanding.

Izzat ko mitti me milana:: To mix one's honor in mud

Meri izzat ki naak cut gayee:: My honors' nose has been chopped off

Kiske saath moonh kaala kiya? :: Who have you blackened your face with?

naak mein dum karna:: to strengthen the nostrils

An instructor explaining the working of pendulum:
"Take an elephant of negligible weight"

heard in kitchen: No, No I don't need chair i can stand eating

It's so hot! Please on the fan no.

Instructor: "Take a copper wire of any metal...and pour a liquid solution
of sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any shape.. "

A gardener scolding three kids : "Both of u three, don't under-stand the

Pune'ites, and Bombay'ites will understand this - "This is not

"You three, both of you kneel down together separately"

"There is no wind in the ball (deflated football)"

"Run with the fence" (alongside)

"Look at the line on your back" (falling in line)

"Apply Apply, No reply" (common one)

"Why aren't you kneel downing?"

If you talk, I'll kneel down
(Always wished he would, but found out that, that's not what he

Cuckoo, Blaady (Kick you, bloody...)

The principal just passed away.

Who took out the breeze of my cykill.

Meet me behind the class (meant after the class).

My cykill is understanding the tree.

Open the windows and let the AIR FORCE come in"!