Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet,

all ladies suddenly stand up!

Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai,

Betho Betho, Khaday mut ho

Santa took his wife and son into to the big city shopping one saturday. As they approached town, they were astonished by the sky scrapers.

Santa never having been to the big city himself decided to let the wife out at the local mall while he and the son did some sight- seeing.

They entered a large building with an enormous lobby. The son noticed this door on the wall and ask Santa what it was for?

Santa not knowing decided to get closer for better observation. A few minutes later a old lady with a cane comes over and presses a button located near the door, the door opens and the old lady enters a small room. The door proceeds to close and Santa and son stand there amazed as lights blink over the door when all of a sudden the door opens and a very beautiful young lady exits.

Astonished, Santa looks at his son while scratching his head, and say's, "Son, I don't know what just happened, but run fast and fetch your mother."

A Nice Joke

Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbours were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.
The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now dear, you are a Catholic."

Santa's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.
The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.


There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted:
"Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb
but now dears.... you are a potato and tomato"!!!

Sardar’s Leave application
Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.

Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days

Guess why?

because somebody had told him that

it is wrong to sleep with married women.

See my legs

In bio practical: Examiner:Tell me the name of this bird by seeing it’s legs only?

Sardar:I don’t know.

Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?

Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

Sardar selected a short girl to marry.

Why?

Because guru ji told him

Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai …

Old ghost

Santa and Banta left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. Banta screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face here!"

Santa sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window. Banta rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?"
The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"

Banta handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to Santa, rolling up the window in terror.

A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.

Santa said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedometer says we're doing 80 now."

All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared.

"There he is again," Banta yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"

"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.

Banta threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"

They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.

"Oh my God! He's back!"

Banta rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"

The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.

So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses,prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........

Just when the! clock struck 11...















and then......
















Scroll down.....




















Scroll down........




















Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

American, Japanese, and a Sardar were sitting in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand. The Sardar felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't know what to do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He decided to take a break in the toilet.

When he returned, he didn't realize that there was a piece of toilet paper got stuck and hanging from his backside. The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" Instead of being embarrassed, inspiration struck his mind. The Sardar explained, "I'm getting a FAX".

The other two fainted.

Saurabh
Site Admin

Posts: 92059
Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 7:44 pm
Location: Fropki Office

Saanta "What is the colour of the elephant?"
Friend "How does it matter?"

S "It Matters"

F "Blue"

S "I will shoot him with blue gun"

F "If it was red?"
S "I will poison him and then when he turns blue I will shoot him with blue gun"

F "If it was yellow?"
S "I will make him angry he will turn red then I will poison him and then when he turns blue I will shoot him with blue gun"

F "If it was green?"
S "I will make him sick when he turns yellow then I will make him angry he will turn red then I will poison him and then when he turns blue I will shoot him with blue gun"

F "If he was purple?"
S "Stupid have you ever seen a purple elephant?"

Rahul
Site Admin

Posts: 95720
Joined: Tue May 30, 2006 10:42 am
Top

Car Dents

Banta was driving back from Shimla when there was a terrible hailstorm. Huge hailstones the size of tennis balls pelted his car leaving it full of dents.

He drove to the nearby automotive center and asked what he should do. The mechanic explained what needed to be done and that it would cost at least Rs 5,000 to repair. Banta said that was too much and asked if there was some other way to fix it.

He decided to have a little fun and said, "Well you could blow into the tail pipe real hard and they might pop back out."

Banta decided to give it a try before spending that much money. He drove home and was in the garage with his lips wrapped around the exhaust pipe when his neighbour Santa came over to visit.

"What are you doing?" asked Santa.

"I'm blowing into the tailpipe real hard to pop all these dents out of my car," explained Banta.

"Well silly, it's not going to work," replied Santa.

"Why not?" asked Banta.

"Because you've got to roll up the windows first."

• puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to make up his mind.

• gets stabbed in a shoot-out.

• sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.

• tries to drown a fish in water.

• thinks socialism means partying.

• trips over a cordless phone.

• takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

• At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius.".

• studies for a blood test and fails.

• sells the car for gas money.

• misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.

• drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.

• gets locked in Furniture Shop and sleeps on the floor.

Saurabh
Site Admin

Posts: 92059
Joined: Mon May 29, 2006 7:44 pm
Location: Fropki Office
Top

Questions?

Q - Why is it called a TV set when there's only one?

Q - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Q - Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick 'name?

Q - If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Q - If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Q - Do vampires get AIDS?

Q - Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

Q - If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?

Q - Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?

Q - Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

Q - If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner instead of chasing Road-Runner?

Q - How can you hear yourself think?

Q - If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?

Incredible!!

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth

Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

Joan of Arc was burn to a steak and was canonised by Bernard Shaw. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.

In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died of this.

During the Renaissance, history began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America whilst cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.


My personal favourite paper to mark, was completely empty apart from one sentence.
" Jesus, Please Help Me."

Question : You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2
Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything
else with you in the boat? How will you do it?







Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will
become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other
Cigarette.



another deadly answer. Scroll down a little
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.

Anoth! er solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win
Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down.
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Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Paani.

Paani ne aag lagayee."

us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee". " class="inlineimg" />
.
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If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down



Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney
lagega"

Ad

These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake...

******

MONDAY: For sale - Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

******

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishanth's ad yesterday. It should have read, "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM."

******

WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishanth has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of t he error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale - Vishanth has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him.

******

THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishanth, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit!

English: twinkle twinlke little star
how i wonder what u are


Telangana Telugu: merishe merishe shinna sukka
pareshan ayiti ne ninnu sushi


English: Johnny Johnny Yes papa
Eating Sugar No papa
Telling lies no papa
Open your mouth ha ha ha
Telangana Telugu: Johnny ga oh.. Johnny ga..
Endhi naina Shekkar Bukkinava ra.. ledhu naina
abaddalu adutunnava ra naa koduka
noru teruvara lambidi koduka

English: Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
jack fell down and broke
his crown jill came tumbling down.


Telangana Telugu: jack gaadu jill gaadu konda ku poyinru
gaadi ki poyi neellu testunte jack
gaadu kinda padi
moothi bokkal saap chesu kundu
jill gaadu dil khush toni panduga cheskunnadu

Wrong way

A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang. It was her husband, urgently warning her, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!”
“It’s not just one car!” said the blonde.
“There’s freaking hundreds of them!”

There is a blonde on a plane to New York. She is sitting in the first class section, but her ticket says that she should be in the coach section. A flight attendant realizes the blonde’s mistake and asks her politely to move. The blonde won’t move. All she says is, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York.”
The flight attendant goes and tells all of the other flight attendants. They all try to persuade the blonde to move, but she won’t move. All she says is, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to New York.”
The flight attendants go and tell the pilot about the obnoxious blonde. They tell him the only thing that she says. He puts the plane on auto-pilot and whispers something in the blonde’s ear.
Immediately, she gets up and moves to her normal seat. Then the pilot goes back to fly the plane. The flight attendants are all very curious about how the pilot made the blonde move so quickly.
They ask him and he says, “Oh, it was easy. All I had to do was tell her that the first class section wasn’t going to New York!”

Rain

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn’t. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, “Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down.”

Blonde Paint

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies, “Yes.”
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, “For best results, put on two coats.”

Cows and Ducks

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.” The other cow replies, “I ain’t worried, it don’t affect us ducks.”

Faithful Wife

Santa is talking to Banta about married life.

"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."

Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.

"While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."

Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.

Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"

"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.

"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window. Your wife was kissing the man. Then he took off his shirt and then.... they turned off the light."

"Then what happened?" says Santa.

"I don't know. It was too dark to see."

"Damn, you see what I mean? There's always that doubt."

Nature Calls

Banta's driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls. He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.

When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room anywhere.

Banta scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up.

When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the doors are locked. All but one. When he opens the door, all he sees is a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he's ever had right there in the hole.

Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs. The once crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul was in sight. Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar.

"What happened!?!" says Banta.

The bartender responds "Where were you when the shit hit the fan?!"

Free Beer

Banta owned a pub in the Ludhiana, and in the summertime a swarm of flies seemed to just hover over the buffet table. This had been going on for about a month.

Santa, the neighborhood mooch, walked in one day.

"I'm not giving you another free beer!" Banta hollered, as he noticed Santa.

Santa was not without a plan, however. He approached Banta and offered him a deal.

"I've been noticing these flies for the last weeks. If you'll give me a shot, I'll kill every one of them for you."

Banta gave him the agreed-upon shot. Once he had downed it, Santa got up and headed for the door.

"All right," he shouted, "send them out - one at a time!"

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, Banta and his wife Preeto decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.

When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.

"What seems to be the problem?"

Immediately, Banta held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, Preeto began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

After 10-15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.

Afterwards, Preeto sat there - speechless. He looked over at Banta who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.

The counselor spoke to Banta, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"

Banta scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Wednesdays and Saturdays."

Diarrhea Run

Pappu blows up his balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother, Jeeto, tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something.

He continues. "Pappu!" Jeeto screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something."

He stops and eventually she leaves for a short trip to the store. Pappu starts up with the balloon again. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet.

Jeeto comes in and while putting away the groceries gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she's finished she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. Diarrhea everywhere! She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor.

The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and diarrhea is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

"Doctor! Doctor! Are you alright?" she asks.

He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever seen a fart!"

Beer Bar

Banta walks into a bar for a bar and takes a seat. However, just as the bartender put the beer on the bar, there was a loud disturbance outside. Hey ran out to see what was going on but soon went back to drink his beer.

When he got back he found his glass empty and a note saying: "Thanks for the beer!"

Banta was a little ticked-off but ordered another beer anyway. Again, just as the bartender put the beer down a loud crash was heard in the street. Thinking that someone ran into his parked car, Banta runs outside to check on things. Seeing that his car was okay he returned to the bar and again found his glass empty and another note that said: "Thanks again, this was as good as the first one."

Well he still hadn't had a beer to quench his thirst, so he ordered another. Just as the bartender put the beer down, a series of shots were heard outside. This time Banta wasn't going to lose his beer to anybody. So he spit into the beer and left a note saying, "Enjoy, I just spit into the beer." He then ran outside to see what had happened.

When Banta returned he was delighted to find that his beer was just where he left it.

However this time the note said: "You enjoy, I spit in it too!"

Suicide Bomber

Banta joins the suicide bomber squad, so when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp. His leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.

He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now?

Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.

Banta: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?

Boss: Wait for more.

Banta: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now?

Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we will look after.

Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.

Change of Mind

A man once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he'd go to church on Sunday and sit at the back. During the service he would sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the front door.

On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The sermon was about the 10 commandments. He sat through the whole sermon and instead of sneaking out he waited until the sermon was over and went to talk to the minister.

"Father, I came here today to steal a hat to replace the one I lost. But after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I changed my mind."

The minister said, "Bless you my son. Was it when I started to preach 'Thou shall not steal,' that changed your heart?"

The man responded, "No, it was the one on adultery. When you started to preach on that, I remembered where I left my hat."

New Girls

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00, which seemed awfully cheap.

"Why so little," she asked the pet storeowner.

The owner looked at her seriously and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then found it kind of amusing.

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them enter and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Nick! New arrivals.... want? 25% off now..."

Best Friend

Banta is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey.

Santa happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Banta," says the shocked Santa, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, Banta replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says Santa man, "I'm your best friend!"

Banta turns to Santa, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! He is!"

The homeowner was delighted with the way Santa had done all the paintwork on his house.

"You did a great job," he said as he handed Santa his fees. "Also, in order to thank-you, here's an extra 500 bucks to take the wife out to dinner and a movie."

Santa declined, saying, "No, I can't accept that."

"I insist," said the man. "It would make me very happy if you do it."

"Well," said Santa reluctantly, but with appreciation, "If you really don't mind it, I'll do it."

Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was Santa, standing there in clean clothes, holding a bouquet of flowers.

Thinking that Santa had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you leave something behind?"

"Nope," replied Santa. "I'm just here to take the wife out to dinner and a movie like you asked."

Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of "Yes/No" type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on.

Santa replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."

Banta, a furniture dealer from Ludhiana, decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Chennai to see what he could find.

After arriving in Chennai he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home in Ludhiana.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bar and have a beer. As he sat enjoying his beer, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat.

Before long, a very beautiful young woman came to his table, asked him something in Tamil (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the Chair. He invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in Hindi, but she did not knew Hindi so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, Banta took a napkin and drew a picture of a beer glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of beer for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bar and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was Packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Banta has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business.

Shitty Santa

Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around.

He says, "Hey, you shit your pants?"

Santa says, "No."

He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Banta stops his horse and turns around.

He then says, "Are you sure you did not shit your pants?"

Santa, "Yes, I am sure."

They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Santa is swatting the flys away. Banta stops his horse and gets off his horse. He then says, "Get of your horse. Pull down your pants. I thought you said you did not shit your pants?"

Santa replies, "I thought you meant today!"

The New Doctor

A woman went to the doctor's office. Where she was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?

Java Interview

Java Interview attended by our Banta:

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

Banta`s Date

Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.

Banta, "It was a flop idea."

Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"

Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

Funniest Joke

Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing.

Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.

Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta.

Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him.

Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly.

The boss asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?"

Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"