Jokes Mantra

We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat.
( He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify).

Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here
with us.
Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte
aaj.
Tusi start karo ji.

AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000
Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are
:
A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab
Santa : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question

AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can t! ake your time
Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to
use my lifeline.

AB : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.
Santa : Audience poll

AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time
starts now.
After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%

AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your
disgust here.
Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience
ne.
I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.

AB : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK
computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.
Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab
Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj
isko.
Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.

AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of
using
all the lifelines in the very first question.
This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.
Santa : My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.

AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.
Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adhi raati,???'

AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke
Kaun Banega Crorepati se.
Banta : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein....
#_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ki hal chal he sar ji.

AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap
apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan
bethe hain mere saath aur.................
Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga,
khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.

AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............chaliye mein aapko special
case
karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.
Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??
Banta : Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud
wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez
pehen
gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.

AB: Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him the
question).
Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska
answer
mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answer
Punjab hai
lallu.
Santa : oye par ......... (and the clock stops).

AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka
confidence
hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.
Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh
to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.

And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died
laughing...